FEEDBACK & TREATMENT
FEEDBACK
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In Class while presenting my plot I thought of changing a few things based o the ideas they gave me in class
Mise - en - scene
Setting; In some stables In the outside of Madrid (Spain).
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lighting: I want to make the light perfect a combination of shadows that you can see half of the face of the person as if hiding something.
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Planning the beginning
Class and life stile; High. We are going to start the first shot in the stables with the 2 horses and the 2 teenage girls. In this moment the main character is gonna be called Maria and the other character Lucia. There is also be a dog called Max. Girls will be 18 they are gonna be in university so the can drive but for them to not be so young, or too old. Next; The 2 friends are gonna be talking about normal silly teenage topics,
Setting
The setting: While filming this in the future you should know that the camera is always gonna discover thinks at the same time as maria; ( maybe not always), Meaning when it come to the part of scares. But mean with clues related to Lucia.)
Then the 1st innocent scare of the dog which already starts to transfer some tension to the audience.
1st idea
BUT the interesting thing is that we are going to see the stable hand he is always gonna be there listening to the girls conversations all the time, but the thing is the girls wont realise this until it's too late, ( the audience will therefore realise that it is because he is basically crazy there is no need for further info but the thing we know is that he is gonna he is spying on them there is gonna be a few vigorous shot's of how he views the girls ( you will hear his dangerous breathing as if he can't pretend any longer also a bit of blurred I was thinking we could maybe do this by sticking the camera in my villains actors chest . He is definitely out for blood and then the shot will go back to normal mode of how a normal person should see them , ( 2 character are gonna be talking and petting their horses, giving them carrots ). Lucia has to go and look for her phone which she left in her car she has to go through the dark alleyway through the old and abandoned stables. But Maria and Lucia maintain a long distance conversation raising their voice a bit:
2nd Idea
The friend Lucia tells a shot story ( that the stable had or) someone told her one day) about how at night this awful man comes to hunt the stables and kill anyone that is in it, a very typical short childish story but at night time and in some stables very realistic, Maria doesn't do horse riding so it is the first time that she comes to the stables they shall talk about of how well Lucia rides, the audience will know this by the short but important face, (with value), and the fact that Maria is not wearing horse riding clothes.
Then suddenly Lucia announces has to go and get her phone which she left in the car, leaves by leaving with a funny and creepy comment as when someone is trying to get to the end of a joke and eventually starts laughing with you . and than all of the things Lucia said happen, in the "apparently joke" turns out it isn't a joke at all: and then the SOLID NEW PLOT appears.
New Plot
Maria Shouts something to Lucia, but she doesn't respond, that is wired. Maria goes in search for her friend, Everything is very dark and there is flickering lights. Suddenly, She jumps of fright at the sight of a dog from the stables who appears to be sitting on the floor in front of her, that is strange but I mean, not that strange, this are stables after all there are dogs everywhere. Maria wondered where Lucia might be. Then without notice the dog turns around and hurriedly started to run towards the whole of darkness, As a reflex maria (I) turned around to see what had spooked him but there was nothing. Frighted, Maria ( I ) started walking hurriedly forwards shouting "Lucia", Without noticing I (Maria) started to run, In a flash Maria tripped with something and (I) fell face to the ground, only to realise that she had tried with Lucia's paled "dead body"! Maria (I) gave a streak of terror, because of seeing the human murderous figure standing 10 feet away from her she got up and started running hurriedly to her car, Her hands were filled with her beloved friend's blood whom she didn't looked back once seeing her lying stone cold dead in the ground, Maria (I) reached the car with her sacking hands holding the car key, they fell, ( great way of loosing time) Panic strikes the audience given that no one knows were that person is) Her heart sank, she hurriedly bend down to fetch her key, gets them and is able to open the car in a few tried ( she doesn't stop looking around why is the psychopath taking so long, something doesn't feel right, where is he? she asks herself, maybe he didn't follow me she dreams. She gets in the car breaths and closes all the doors but suddenly she starts hearing barks of the dog out side the car as if he were trying to warn her of something he doesn't stop barking, Maria does't understand she is safe, and Suddenly maria realises they are not alone in the car, ( Camera is gonna be positioned right in front of Maria with a view of the back sites where the predator is about to kill the pray Maria 9 the camera is gonna stop filming when Maria looks to the mirror to see what is behind of her and sees the psychopath holding a knife about to stab hear than the video stays and suspense but we will put voice-track of a girl screaming to make the viewers figure out by themselves what happened.
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